Empowering Women Physicians 2023 Bora Bora Retreat Recap and Reflections

66 Women Physicians in Bora Bora!!!!

As I begin writing this, I am currently 30,000 feet in the air and on my way back home to Miami from a wonderful week in beautiful Bora Bora. I’m actually about to land soon and can barely keep my eyes open as I’ve been traveling since yesterday, but I wanted to get this started so that I can finish and hopefully post tomorrow. But first let me tell you why I was in Bora Bora and how it all came to be:

Back in September, I shared my story in the Empowering Women Physicians group (click HERE to join the Facebook  group), founded by Dr. Sunny Smith in an attempt to win a spot at their annual retreat held at The Four Seasons Bora Bora Resort. I figured I didn’t have a chance in hell at winning, but I shared anyway because 1) I’m always happy to share my story with hopes that it uplifts/inspires others. And 2) the retreat was occurring on the same dates as my birthday PTO request, so I felt like it was a sign to try. For those who don’t know, in my residency program we get a total of 20 vacation days for the year, and we’re only allowed to take five business days off per month, weekends not included. I had originally scheduled to take off the end of January and the first week of February, and the retreat dates fell perfectly in between. I was beyond floored (and to be honest, I still am) when I found out I was the winner of the resident award, which included not only a stay in a gorgeous overwater bungalow at The Four Seasons, but also food, drinks and all group activities in addition to CME credits and a month of coaching! All I had to do was pay for my flight (which was a huge investment within itself on a residency budget) and they took care of all the rest. It truly feels like the universe was conspiring for me to go on this trip because even if I hadn’t used vacation days, I could have used my CME credit which I have not used yet. Winning this trip was truly a miracle and a blessing. Okay, so now that you’re all caught up, here’s how the week went:

The incredible Dr. Sunny Smith!!!! 

Sunday

My travel started on a Sunday and I braced myself for what would be the longest time I have ever traveled in my life. I believe the total travel time was 36 hours from start to finish. And on top of the time, I had multiple layovers (Atlanta, Los Angeles, Papeete) before I would finally arrive in Bora Bora. My original flight was changed by the airline a couple of months prior, so I specifically added the Atlanta layover so that I could have lunch with one of my dearest friends from medical school, but she absolutely surprised me with the best birthday gift ever! When I arrived at the airport, she greeted me with tulips (my favorite), a balloon, drinks, and a card. She then had me pick from two pieces of paper with the words written on them hidden from me. I thought it was weird (and had no idea that this is a current thing on social media), but she’s fun, so I decided to go with the flow. The first paper I selected read “limo”, and I was like what?!, but then she had me follow her back into the airport to find a man waiting with a sign with my name on it, and we walked out to find a beautiful limo driving up to me! Then she had me select another paper, and this one had the words Herve Leger written on it. For those who don’t know, this is one of my favorite designers. And after I selected the paper, she pulled out one of the most gorgeous dresses out of her bag. I was completely floored! Before coming, she told me to wear black with heels, so I just assumed we were going to an all black brunch somewhere in Atlanta. I literally changed from blue jeans to black jeans in the airport before walking out to meet her, so she definitely got me good with that one. I brought black boots, but surprisingly they actually fit well with the dress. Now at this point I’m thinking it can’t possibly get any better than this. But then she has me select another piece of paper and this one reads “food”. And if you know me, you know I love food, so I was so happy! The limo then takes us to Two Urban Licks, which is a super great restaurant in Atlanta, and we ate yummy food and had a blast. After this we walked the Atlanta Beltline, which surprisingly, despite all the years I lived in the area, I had never walked. Following this, we took a trip to Lenox mall where we walked around, got some yummy cupcakes by CamiCakes, a Black-owned company, and just really spent the time bonding and talking with each other. It was seriously one of the best days of my life and one of the highlights of my trip. Even better than Bora Bora itself. Just thinking about it makes me emotional because I am truly blessed to have such amazing friends. When she dropped me back off at the airport, I felt nothing but joy and love in my heart, and it made the rest of my trip smoother. You can watch the reel below to see how truly great it was :)

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A post shared by Dr. Rox (@drashleyroxanne)

But back to the trip. My second flight was from Atlanta to Los Angeles, and a very interesting thing happened: During the middle of my flight, the flight attendants called overhead asking for medical volunteers to come up to the front. I went up to the front where I met two other female physicians, both in orthopedics (one of whom who was going to the same retreat in Bora Bora), and a patient in distress who we all helped together. Luckily, the patient ended up okay and we didn’t have to land the plane, but it was actually my first time having and responding to an inflight emergency (luckily no one could tell). I was happy to not have to do it alone. Once we arrived to Los Angeles, we found other physicians going on the same retreat and we all hung out and got to know each other in the lounge before boarding our next flight to Tahiti. Fortunately, that was a smooth flight without issues.

Meeting some of the docs for the first time in Los Angeles

Monday

When we arrived in Tahiti the next day, they were playing music in the airport and it was a great experience. I wasn’t in Tahiti long though, because when I went to check my bag, the person at the ticket counter asked if I wanted to get on the flight that was currently boarding instead of waiting three hours. I looked at her with disbelief and asked if that would be pushing it since the plane was literally leaving in 10 minutes, but she said it wouldn’t be a problem. As I was going through security they were calling my name, but I made it on the flight with the most beautiful view and safely into Bora Bora.

My view from the plane

When we arrived in to Bora Bora, we were greeted with a fresh flower leis. Our luggage was taken and we were escorted by boat to our hotel. The ride to the hotel was absolutely scenic and beautiful, and it was even cooler getting to know some of the ladies I would be spending the week with. Once we arrived to the resort, they took us to a villa to check in and to relax while we awaited our rooms, since we arrived at around 7am that morning. The villa had a beautiful pool overlooking the mountains. And it was really nice just dipping my feet in, eating food and bonding with other women. This is also where we received our roommate assignments (because let’s face it, the Four Seasons isn’t cheap), and I was lucky enough to find out my roommate was someone who I had participated in a virtual small group setting with earlier in the month. Once in my room, I couldn’t help but try out the gorgeous blue cool water. I took a dip in the water and then I joined the main group in the activity section of the resort for a cultural experience that involved making flower crowns, learning the history of coconuts, and taking dance lessons. Later that evening, we had a beautiful Tahitian dinner that included absolutely delicious food. I don’t actually like to eat any raw seafood, but being that I was in a different country, I did try it, and I was floored at how delicious the raw swordfish, tuna and other fish was. It didn’t even taste like fish! Super fresh! To top it all off, there was even a magnificent fire show with music and dancing and a group picture afterwards. It was a phenomenal first night. And I’m still surprised that I was able to stay awake, but I was absolutely knocked out by the time I made it back to my room later that evening.

Polynesian Dinner Night!

Tuesday

The next day was Tuesday, January 31^st which also happened to be my 36^th birthday! I still can’t believe that I literally woke up in paradise on my birthday. The morning started with a nice breakfast followed by our first group session from 8am-12pm. This first session started off with us writing three things that we were most grateful for that day. We then put it in a cup and passed the the cup to a different table where each person selected one piece of paper and read it. They not only read the paper, but they discussed the feelings that reading it invoked in them. This actually took the entire 4 hours, but it was such a beautiful display of gratitude, and I really loved it. It was also during this session where I was surprised with a beautiful birthday card signed by all the ladies in the group. It made me feel so special and loved. Following the group session, I had lunch with a few of the women and then I spent a few hours roaming around the resort where I found a cute little lagoon with fish and coral reef. Later, I walked to the pool, where I literally spent hours in the water hanging out and talking before I walked over to dinner and joined another group of women. It was such a beautiful and relaxed way to spend my birthday, and later on at night when I came to my room I was even more smiles when I found a beautiful dessert and birthday laid out hotel staff in the middle of the room. I later found out that this was gifted to me by one of the women I met on the plane who happened to be part of the travel agency making this retreat happen. Super sweet! I ended my birthday with a bubble bath and whiskey, which is what I love to do on vacation. It was absolutely perfect.

Happy 36th Birthday to ME!

Wednesday

The next day was exciting as it was our shark, stingray and fish snorkel day! We started off with breakfast and a short morning group session and then we were off on the boats to submerge ourselves in the crystal clear blue water. I had never snorkeled before, and to be honest, I’m not even really a swimmer, but I put on my snorkel vest with a lifesaver, and I snorkeled for the first time ever! I struggled with a foggy mask at first, but one of the women came over and switched masks so I could see. Then the driver of the boat threw a piece of fruit in my hand and it was so cool having all the fish come up to me and eat out of my hand. I even hugged a Stingray!!!! How awesome is that?! We finished the excursion by eating lunch in the ocean with sharks and stingrays swimming around us, and I even got to feed fish from my hand. It was such an unforgettable experience. Later that evening, I attended a quick Champagne and Pearls experience at the resort, but I was pretty tired, so I ended the day with room service in my room. Food is extremely expensive in Bora Bora, so I am so grateful for the room credit that this retreat provided, because just getting a burger, salad, and dessert was over $100. If I had to do this on my own, I would probably have brought ramen and just used water from my my coffee pot for the week.

Hugging a stingray!

Thursday

Thursday was another amazing full group morning session where we talked about our wildest dreams and things that we would start and stop doing to accomplish our goals. We ended the morning with breakout sessions with our small groups. My small group had a nice lunch and we finished off the discussion for a couple of hours. For the afternoon, I decided to treat myself to a spa day. I had originally tried to book a massage on my birthday, but I went too late and everything was booked, so I was excited that I would be getting a massage on this day. I had the most amazing deep tissue massage. Followed by a dip in the gorgeous hot tub outback with the most beautiful scenery. Following this, we all headed to the villa, where there were dancing lessons given by my fellow Tahitian physician colleague, drinks, music, and a good time. It was also during this time where I took a huge leap of faith and jumped into the ocean from the villa. I had never done anything like that before, and I was scared out of my mind, but Dr Smith’s husband held my hand and I survived. It was an experience I will keep with me for a lifetime, and a reminder of all the positive experiences that occur when taking a leap of faith.

Relaxing in the spa hot tub

Friday

Friday was our big day as it was National Women Physicians Day. This day was created to honor the path that female doctors have paved since 1849. We started off the morning in a large group session, but then we quickly broke into our small groups. My small group found a large canopy next to the pool and we all discussed our dreams, things that were holding us back, and the solutions and ways to make it work. Following this, all 60+ of us representing so many different specialties gathered together for a group picture. Even cooler, the photographer took individual headshots of us that will be able to use for branding or however we like. It was such a beautiful gift. Following this, we had a bit of downtime in the afternoon, so I recorded a very choppy YouTube video as I was walking back to my room that looks choppy, but I may go ahead and post it anyway and just direct to this blog post which ties up everything I really want to say anyway. Then I got ready for our 5pm sunset cruise. The cruise was so relaxing and beautiful. It was also a great way to connect, take pictures with everyone and celebrate our last night together. But it didn’t end there. Following the sunset cruise, we made it back to resort and headed to the beach, where there were chairs waiting for us and a firework show to commemorate National Women Physicians day. Such a fabulous way to end our last night together!

Sunset Cruise

Saturday

Saturday was officially our last day and it was so sad to leave paradise. We started off the morning with our final group session, and after we ended around 12pm, we all headed to a villa that was made available for us to lounge, swim, and relax in while we awaited our boats to take us to the airport. This villa was absolutely huge and amazing. So much so that I recorded a video for it that I will upload to my YouTube channel because it was just mind-blowing how beautiful it was. At around 3:30pm, the boat came to pick me up since my flight was leaving around 5:00 PM. They greeted us with beautiful shell necklaces while boarding, and as we were leaving the resort, it started to rain. We had beautiful weather the whole time there, but the rain starting when we left felt like a sign that the island was sad we were leaving. Fortunately, there were no inflight emergencies on either of my flights back home, so it was pretty smooth.

Villa Life

Sunday

I arrived back home to Miami Sunday evening and I was so tired. But when I opened the door I was greeted with a cake and tulips from my awesome guy that made me smile. I attempted to stay up to at least 11pm that night and then I was out for the count. It’s so nice being back home, but I truly do miss paradise.

Birthday cake and tulips :)

Reflections

It is now Tuesday and I feel like I finally have had a little downtime to reflect on my experience, but I am still mind blown over everything that happened last week. I learned so much in the realm of dealing with personal situations, business, life, and just navigating the world as a woman physician. The experience I had was truly priceless. My takeaways from this trip would take up an entire post, and I’ve already written way too much, so I’ll just leave you with five random nuggets that I took away:

1) If you don’t take the time to take care of yourself now, you’ll only end up hurting yourself in the long run

During one of the large group sessions, I shared how I grappled with the thought of winning a trip to Bora Bora when there were so many phenomenal female physicians who shared their stories and who I felt deserved it more than me because they had experienced more burnout and had been practicing way longer than myself. After this session, one of the women came up to me and told me how she had been dealing with physician burnout for over a decade, and she wishes that she had opportunities like this as a resident so that she would have never gotten to that point. I never thought about how important it is to start physician wellness early, because residency and life tend to beat you down and get you to a place where you think that the burnout is normal, but it’s really not right. This experience was a blatant reminder to take care of myself. Because if I don’t take care of myself, how can I truly take care of my patients?

2) Your story truly is not for you and it is important to share it

Those of you reading this know that I’ve never been afraid to share my story, but attending this retreat showed me how very important it is to share our stories and how connected we all truly are to each other. There was so much I could relate to from the other women there, whether it was talking about abuse, burnout, divorce, parenting, job changes, etc., and I realized that we are all connected by so muchI met women there who I share mutual friends with. I met women there who had gone through the same residency match struggles as myself, but had never shared it until that point. I met a woman who literally went to my same medical school and graduated only 3 years before me, and I met women there who were struggling with something that those of us had already gone through could provide advice for. It’s so important to share our stories because you never know who might need to hear it to keep their lives going.

3) Don’t be afraid to allow good things to happen to you. You are worthy and you do deserve it. Not everyone is out to get you.

I was pretty quiet about this trip since finding out that I won in September because, honestly, I was skeptical. I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I don’t expect truly good things to happen to me. I always expect there to be a catch, or that someone will want something in return. This retreat showed me this is not the case. I was sure I was going to get a call saying that they made a mistake or that they accidentally forgot to include me in the booking prior to going. I was so scared because I just never expect truly good things to happen to me. I even continue to struggle with that in my current residency program that this is all too good to be true, and that it will be taken away from me somehow. But this retreat showed me that I am worthy of these things, and I should expect these things because I put in the work and good out into the world and I should expect that good to come right back. It also showed me that there are people out there who truly want to support me and who will push for me, but I do have to allow myself to be open to receiving that.

4) Life is short and the time to live is now.

Even with the demands of residency, it’s easy to get caught up and forget to live life. We get consumed with work, with motherhood, personal, and other business responsibilities that we forget to take the time and honor ourselves. What I took away from this retreat is that now is the time to create the life I want to live, and to find a way to make it work, despite any obstacles I may perceive to be in my way. 

5) You are not alone and there are people who truly care about you and will be there to help when you need it

When I was there, I listened to so many stories of physician suicide. And I remember one of the women sharing with me how when she was in residency, one of the residents actually committed suicide while in the hospital with the chief residents actually hearing the gun go off as they were banging on the door. Most people aren’t aware that that rate of physician suicide is high. Our hours are grueling. A lot of times we feel like there is no support. And, whether you’re a resident or an attending, sometimes it can feel very lonely. One of the most powerful things for me, during the retreat was one of the women taking me aside, giving me her phone number, and telling me that it doesn’t matter what time or day that it is, if there is any time within the next 15 years where I feel I’m in a dark place, to call her, and she will help me through it. That is so powerful to me. And there was another woman who even talked about her dream of buying a house in Bora Bora, so that she can sponsor a resident physician each year who may be struggling with mental health or other wellness issues, and sponsor them for an all expense paid getaway in an attempt to promote wellness and help prevent physician suicide. Just writing this chokes me up, not because I’ve ever been suicidal, but I remember being in a very dark place, especially during my intern year in Philadelphia where I felt like there was no one I could call on who could relate to me or who could help me, so to know that there are people who are actively trying to help is just truly incredible. I honestly have no words for how touching it really is. 

Smiles in Paradise

Wrapping Up

OK so I know I’ve taken way too much time on this post and written a novel, so I’m going to wrap it up. But, there are no words to describe how incredibly powerful and beautiful this experience was for me. We shared our stories in a safe place, bonded, laughed together, and cried together. And as the only resident physician in attendance, I truly feel like I gained a tribe of phenomenal female attending physicians who I will be able to lean on even in the roughest times while navigating my journey through residency and beyond. I am even more so thankful to Dr. Sunny Smith for creating an exceptional coaching program (Please click here to check it out) that is helping so many physicians and for giving me the gift of a lifetime. Oh, and lastly, we were even featured in the Tahitian news! You can check out that article HERE (open in Chrome and right click, there should be a Google tab that says translate page).

Featured in the Tahitian News!

If you’ve made it this far in my post, thank you so much for reading and I hope reading it brought you joy. I wish you all a wonderful week ahead and I look forward to updating you with more in the near future.

#Blessed

2021: Blessings on Blessings on Blessings!

Spending NYE 2021 living my dreams! 

It's New Year's Eve, I'm currently in the Emergency Room working my final night shift for the month, and you know what? I am overjoyed beyond words!

2021 was a true reflection of what staying prayed up, being patient, keeping the faith, and trusting in God's plan will bring. At this time last year, I was praying to be in my current position. Being a plastic surgeon was something that I have always imagined, but I honestly never thought at this point last year I would be a Plastic Surgery resident physician (in Miami of all places!) and on the way to achieving my dreams just 12 months later. 

If I had to come up with a theme for 2021, it would be: Trust God. Those of you who have been following along with me over the years, know that despite all the obstacles faced, I've always kept the faith that I would one day achieve my dreams. At let's be real, to have this faith when it felt like everyone around me was starting to doubt me was hard! God truly showed out this year in more ways than I could explain in this post. I am beyond thankful, and I hope to continue the grind and achieve great things in the years to come. If this year only showed me one thing, it's that my dreams are valid and I am capable of accomplishing any and all that I put my mind too. I just feel so incredibly blessed and happy.

Now for some of my highlights over the year :) I wrote this portion out on my social media accounts, but going to repost here because if it's not on the blog, did it really happen? LOL

Pursued my passion of surgery

- FINALLY matched into Plastic Surgery (my dream specialty!) after years of unsuccessful cycles

- Completed my last day of work as a full-time Urgent Care physician⁣

- I was featured in Forbes alongside other phenomenal women in medicine ⁣

- Produced my 1st first-author publication (my book doesn't count in the academic world lol)⁣

Enjoyed speaking and mentoring across the world

- Had multiple speaking engagements that allowed me to continue my passion of mentoring and inspiring⁣

I am truly blessed to be her mother

- Continued to have the blessing of being the mother of an absolutely AMAZING teenager.

Work hard, play harder

- I had fun! In 2021, I wasn't afraid to pursue what made me happy and say no to the things that didn't. I took risks, explored, spent time with old friends while making new friends, and enjoyed time with family and the people I love.⁣

- Took an unforgettable solo birthday trip to St. Lucia which included a beautiful suite with views you only see in the movies 🤩⁣

- Treated my daughter to a day at Universal Studios VIP style where we skipped to the front of literally every single line and got to see some behind-the-scenes action⁣

- Attended my first Annual Plastic Surgery meeting, learned a lot, and had a blast!

⁣- Partnered with multiple companies and shared awesome products with everyone that I also got to enjoy :) ⁣

- Made sure to spend time with friends and family. Life is short, and being a physician in 2021 was a daily reminder of this. 

That pretty much sums up 2021 for me. While I know that not everyone had a joyous year, just the fact that you are alive and reading this is a blessing in itself. Take the time to reflect on all the positive things you have to be thankful for. I hope you are able to end the year with all the happiness these reflections may bring. Also, to those of you who have read my blog over the past year and beyond, thank you for continuing to follow along on my journey. It means so much to me that people value my story and continue to gain from it. I look forward to bringing you more in 2022, and I hope you all will stick around.

Wishing everyone a wonderful New Year ahead filled with love, blessings, and joy 🎉⁣

It's My Eight-Year Blogiversary!

Celebrating 8 years of the "Aspiring Minority Doctor" blog

Today marks eight years since I typed and published my very first blog post. At the time, I was a premedical student who had just received my one and only acceptance to medical school the month prior. Although I was ecstatic about my acceptance, I remember searching the internet for people with a similar background and being so discouraged. There were many posts in premedical/medical forum websites written by anonymous individuals who stated that people like myself (single mother, low GPA/MCAT, osteopathic medical school matriculant, etc) could never make it through medical school, pass medical board licensing exams, or match into a competitive specialty like plastic surgery. I knew there had to be individuals out there who had made it through despite all the odds, but my internet search proved extremely futile. With that being said, I decided to start a blog to document my journey and prove to people that I would achieve my dreams and more. I started this blog off anonymously, but then I realized it was important to share my true self and aim to inspire those on a similar path. Who would've thought that 8 years later I would be sitting here typing this not only having accomplished my original goal of being an inspiration, BUT also as a medical school graduate and current plastic surgery resident?!?!

If you've followed my blog from the start, I truly appreciate you and thank you for sharing in this journey with me. It definitely hasn't been an easy road, but I've enjoyed sharing my successes and even the failures with you all. It was this blog and the encouraging comments/emails from readers that kept me sane and motivated when I adjusted to life as a medical student, went through the failure of not matching (twice!), experienced a grueling general surgery intern year, started a two-year detour as an urgent care physician, and even now as I navigate making it through residency. You all have watched my daughter grow from being a happy 7-year-old child to a super smart and sweet 15-year-old teenager. I've even enjoyed sharing all my fun moments with you all because I'm all about the work-life balance :)

I started this blog to inspire and share my story, but I have gained so much from it. This blog has connected me with people around the world with similar stories, served as a personal therapeutic outlet, and the demand for all my premedical/inspirational posts in one place allowed me to write and publish my very first book, Atypical Premed. You all helped me become an author!

I know a lot of people wonder why I continue to name the blog "Aspiring Minority Doctor" seeing as I've accomplished my goal of becoming a physician, but it's quite simple: I'll always be a minority, always a doctor, and always aspiring to achieve great things. I don't know if I'll still be blogging eight years from now, but my goal is to at least maintain this blog until I finish residency. After that I'll likely keep the domain for my own reflections, although a lot of the premedical and medical school advice will likely be outdated by then. 

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to say THANK YOU for reading! It truly means a lot to me that people actually care to read my story, and the fact that some of you have been reading for eight years warms my heart. I hope I can continue to keep you all engaged, inspired, and confident to continue on your own paths to greatness. I look forward to sharing more of my journey, but if you have a favorite post that helped or inspired you in any way, please share it with me in the comments below. It would really make my day :)

SN: the mug in the above picture was made by my mother and it's one of my favorites! On the back it has my favorite bible verse (Philippians 4:6-7) and underneath states "Living my dreams, one patient at at time!"

 

Celebrating a Decade of Accomplishments

So much to be thankful and proud of this past decade

I know everyone is currently reflecting over the past year, but can we talk about the past decade?!?! What an incredible ten years it has been! I won't lie and say it has always been happy and full of success, but looking back over the past ten years, I can't help but smile and feel a sense of pride about all that I have been able to accomplish.

Started the decade as a research associate

At the start of 2010, I was a few weeks freshly divorced, a new college graduate, and I had just moved into a new apartment. Since I had to leave my campus and work-study jobs behind after I graduated in December, I remember spending New Year's Day 2010 frantically searching for jobs because I had a child to take care of and I needed money! I was blessed not too long afterwards when I received an interview for a parasitology & immunology research associate position and got the job. This began a very rewarding career in research for four years, and during this time, I helped manage a laboratory, presented research, had my name published in a few papers, and even received a master of science degree in biochemistry. The goal was always to become a physician though, so my career happily ended when I finally received an acceptance and started medical school in 2014.

Became a Student Doctor midway through the decade

This blog started right before I entered medical school, so those of you who have been around from the beginning know what a wild ride it has been! If I have to go back to my first favorite memory of my medical school career, I would have to say it would be the day of my white coat ceremony, but there were so many awesome moments during my time as a medical student. I had the chance to meet and interact with many inspirational and influential people (such as television personalities, former surgeon generals and congressmen), became the first osteopathic medical student to ever serve as national president of the Student National Medical Association, was featured in various newspaper and online articles, and not only got the chance to perform surgery with the first black female transplant surgeon in the United States, but received the amazing blessing of her becoming both my friend and mentor! I ended medical school in 2018 with the Mason W. Pressly Memorial Medal (the highest honor given to only one medical student each year at my institution), my picture hanging on my medical school's wall, and having achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a physician.

Ending the decade as a physician

The past two years have been mostly a transitioning phase. I made it through a grueling traditional rotating internship year in general surgery working in a program that tested my limits in every way imaginable, but I thrived as chief intern and finished even stronger than when I started. And despite two unsuccessful match cycles, I continued to press on by completing and passing my final medical board licensing exam, obtaining a full unrestricted medical license, and successfully landing a position as an urgent care physician this year. It's been a crazy transition full of opportunities that I never thought possible, and I'm looking forward to what the beginning of the next decade will bring.

A decade full of fun and adventure!

This past decade hasn't just been all work and no play though. I can honestly say I took advantage of living life to the fullest extent as much as possible, and I feel truly blessed for the many experiences this decade has brought me. I traveled to seven countries with a few solo trips that allowed me to meet awesome new individuals while finding myself and immersing into other cultures. I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried things like skydiving, surfing, zip-lining, and even pole dancing. I spent time with my daughter and had many memorable moments with her such as attending her first short film premiere (back when she was into acting), surprising her with a trip to Disney World for her 6th birthday, or even more recently taking her to France for her 13th birthday. I spent time with my family and loved ones whether it was just because, for the holidays, or girls trips with my sisters, and I kept up with blogging for the past six years. This has been quite a fun decade and I'm already excited for the adventures the next one will bring.

Stay tuned for more from Dr. Ward!

So what's next for the upcoming decade? I tend to stay quiet about my plans, but those close to me say I should speak my goals into existence, so here's what I see for the upcoming ten years:

In the first few years of the decade, I will have published my first book, started a business, and finally landed a surgery residency position. By the end of 2029, I see myself ending the year as a board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon and being a part of a growing practice. **Ten years gives a lot of time to accomplish this, so don't count me out yet ;)** My daughter will likely have just finished college (Can you believe that?!?!), and I will have finally settled down enough to be a homeowner. Because I love to travel, I already know I will have added at least five new countries to my travel list. I will also be very active in my community, likely through mentorship, but I wouldn't be surprised if I ended the decade in some sort of leadership position. Outside of that, the next ten years will be filled with me working towards my surgery dreams while staying true to myself and loving on those in my inner circle.

I hope those of you reading this had a decade full of accomplishments, and I wish you an upcoming decade filled with hope, love, and new adventures. I appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts, and I hope you will stick around with me into the next decade. If I don't make it back to post again tomorrow, I wish you all a safe night and a very happy New Year.

Thankful Vibes

I originally planned to type this post on Thanksgiving Day, but decided to truly bask in the day and relax. Then I had the bright idea that since I was working a double shift on Black Friday, and it would likely be quiet due to everyone being out shopping (wishful thinking), I would just type this up while I was at work. But after a crazy busy day filled with managing things like what a patient thought was a hemorrhoid that actually turned out to be a huge abscess (and the most satisfying incision & drainage procedure I've ever performed!), a hand versus chainsaw accident (put my suturing skills to work!), and even a feather stuck in the ear (who knew down feather pillows could be so dangerous?!?!), I learned my lesson about planning for any leisurely activities while at work during a time when most people are not working. Moving onto yesterday, I found some time to start the typing process, but ended up putting it on hold to attend an event, and then I decided to go to the movies afterwards (I saw Queen & Slim and thought it was really good). With that being said, I finally found a moment to write about a few things I've been thankful for this year :)

I guess the most obvious thing I am thankful for this year is having a job! I can't tell you how many nights (and days) I spent worrying last year about what this year would bring. Would I have a job? Would I be homeless? Would I be working somewhere completely unrelated to my medical degree? Would I be living in another new state, away from all family and friends, and working yet again another 24 hour call shift during the holiday? There was so much anxiety! But here I am a year later, a working physician, with an incredible job, living in an area that makes me happy, and able to spend time with those people who mean the most to me whenever I want. It's honestly really hard to put into words all the feelings that surround my current state of mind, but one thing I can say for sure is that God's plan is the best plan, and everything always works out perfectly and at the right time.

Another thing I am thankful for is my family and the friends who have become like family (or I guess "Framily" as they call it). My family always comes through for me, provides me with so much help with my daughter, and they're always super supportive even if they don't completely understand my path. I'm even more thankful to have a child who doesn't mind being away from me and who tells me on a daily basis how proud she is of me. And even though I am absolutely horrible at keeping in touch with people, I am thankful for those who still check on me and don't trip when I don't reach out often, and for those who can deal with me and all of my craziness. Over the past year, I have been amazed by the amount of friends who text me to make sure I'm okay, take time out of their busy schedules to travel to hang out with me, and even those who are quick to send me the latest postings on open surgery residency positions so that I can continue to pursue my goals. I might not be the best at expressing it, but I am thankful for each and every individual I interact with, and your love and friendship mean a lot to me. 

Lastly, I am thankful for YOU. Next month will make six years of blogging, and some of you have been around from the very beginning. You've followed my journey from newly accepted medical student to navigating life as Dr. Ward, encouraged me through various struggles, and continued to cheer for me when things are going right. I am beyond grateful for the support you give just by reading my posts, and there have been numerous times where I wanted to give up or quit, but then I receive an email sharing your success story or inspiration that you gained from reading one of my posts. This has really kept me going.

So in my attempt to keep this post relatively short, I'll just end by saying every year I grow more and more thankful for life and all it's ups and downs. I'm thankful for the dark times that allow me to enjoy the happy times, the people who make life worth living, and for being able to live my dream as a physician. I honestly couldn't feel more blessed at the moment, and for that I am truly thankful. I hope everyone reading this had a very happy Thanksgiving, and I wish you all a wonderful holiday season ahead.

I'm Officially the Mother of a Teenager! (Paris, France recap)

Smiles outside the Louvre Museum in Paris

Life has a funny way of working itself out. Around this time last year, I was feeling overworked and extremely upset at the fact that despite putting in my request well in advance and getting approved, I was still scheduled to work a 24 hour call shift during my daughter's birthday weekend. This meant having to cancel an already scheduled flight and miss my only child's birthday for the first time ever since no one was willing to switch call with me (and who could blame them?).

Fast-forward to this year, and not only do I feel less stressed with the ultimate work-life balance, but I recently returned from a trip to France where I took my daughter to celebrate her 13th birthday. I seriously could not feel more blessed and thankful for life's current twists and turns :) This post will serve as a recap of our recent trip, but since I recently promised to get back to writing more frequently, more posts will be coming soon answering all your commonly asked questions and detailing my recent life experiences :)

Her first silk press!

I've never really understood why, but for the past few years, my daughter had been wanting to go to Paris. She has a picture of the Eiffel Tower on her bedroom wall and Paris trinkets throughout her room, so I figured I would surprise her with the real thing this year to ring in her officially becoming a teenager (yup, I'm now the mother of a 13 year old! *shock face*). But first, it was time for a trip to the hair salon for a new slightly more teenage look. She received her first silk press and judging by how many times she kept flipping her hair, I think she liked it.

Birthday welcome from the hotel

I don't think my daughter actually believed we were going to Paris until the plane started to take off, but the look of happiness on her face was priceless! It was the one picture I wish I would've captured. The flight was enjoyable, and when we arrived at the hotel there was a surprise gift, balloons, treats, and a welcome message waiting in our room for her. It was super sweet!

Sightseeing in Paris!

We arrived around 1pm and although we were tired and jetlagged, we knew we had to stay awake or we would risk being up all night. So we immediately ventured out for some exploring. We took pictures outside the Louvre, walked all the way down to near the Notre Dame so my daughter could check out a Manga shop that she swore had books in English (it didn't), took a little detour so that I could buy something nice for myself, and even went inside the Louvre and took silly pictures with some of the art. We ended the night with a nice dinner together, and then we were out like a light!

Day 2: More Paris sightseeing

We started off our second day in Paris with a trip to the Eiffel Tower where went all the way up to the summit and took in the gorgeous views of the city. Following this we used the hop on hop off river cruise (only $17 for 24 hour access!) to go to all the major stops in the city and take in the sights. We explored so much and the city was absolutely beautiful. In my Instagram highlight story reel of France, I have a video of a man playing the piano in the middle of the road. In my opinion, it captured the feel of the city so wonderfully, so feel free to check it out.

Eiffel Tower fun!

At the end of the day, we returned to the Eiffel Tower to see the light show. My daughter thought it would include various colors during the show and was not impressed with the 5 minutes of twinkling lights. I, on the other hand, was super enthralled! It was such a magical display and I was completely caught up in all its beauty.

Happy 13th Birthday to my little love!

The next day was my little one's 13th birthday and what better place to celebrate than Disneyland Paris?!?! After eating breakfast (during which the hotel surprised her with a cake and candle), we checked out, grabbed an Uber, and made our way to the happiest place in France. When we arrived at Disneyland, we went to the visitor center where she was greeted with a surprise birthday call from Mickey Mouse. I even got her to try escargot for the first time (she wasn't a fan LOL), we rode a few rides, had good laughs, and enjoyed both a parade and the evening fireworks show. I think it's safe to say she enjoyed her birthday :)

Birthday fun at Disneyland Paris

The next day it was time to return home, but we left France full of happy smiles and awesome memories. I'm so happy I had the opportunity to provide my daughter with such a memorable birthday experience this year, and I hope she'll cherish it for years to come. That pretty much wraps up our trip, but I thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed this recap. Until next time!

The Training Wheels are Off and the Doctor is In: An Update

My glow is back!

So many changes have occurred since my last full post! Over the past three months alone, my life has made a complete 180 degree turn, and I couldn't be happier at the moment. It was only six months ago when I found out yet again that I didn't match into a categorical general surgery spot, and it was so stressful worrying about how I would be able to pay bills, take care of my child, and still continue to live my dream of being a physician. I never could have imagined how smoothly everything would come together for me, and I can't help but feel anything other than blessed and thankful. I've finally settled down enough to write about my recent experiences, so this post will serve as a quick recap for your viewing pleasure :)

Goodbye Philly!

A few days after I officially finished my intern year, I packed up my belongings, sold what wouldn't fit in my car, and I made the long drive back from Pennsylvania to Georgia. During that time, I had no real plan on what I would do for work as I didn't have any jobs lined up, and I was still waiting to hear back from a couple of residency programs I interviewed at for open PGY-2 positions. I only knew I wanted to be back in the south and that I would figure out everything later. During the last week in June, I took the time to relax, hang out with a few friends I made while living there, and enjoy some sight seeing in Philadelphia one last time before I was gone for good!

Badge Official!

During my final week in Philadelphia, I submitted the application to obtain an unrestricted medical license in the state of Georgia (I had to wait until my final day of training to officially have a complete application), and I received the approval email around three weeks later. This approval meant I could finally start working as a general practitioner, and I immediately applied for various jobs in my area. I also spoke with an old classmate who connected me with an awesome urgent care physician who told me his clinic was looking for a new physician. Just a few days after this conversation, I had a chance to check out the clinic and interview with the owner. I started training the following week working alongside other physicians as I couldn't fully work on my own until my DEA license was approved. Luckily the approval took less than two weeks, and my training was paid, so it was a super smooth transition. By the first week of September, I was working full shifts as the only physician on staff, and as we near the end of the month, I am starting to feel a lot more comfortable with my new role. I guess you can say the training wheels are officially off since, for the time being, I am no longer a resident physician, but a fresh urgent care physician.

Mommy-Daughter Time!

This new position is such a welcome change from the stress of residency life. I am no longer working insane hours, I have great work-life balance with much more free time, and I actually get to spend time with my daughter. I agreed to let her continue to stay with my parents another year to enjoy band, her friends, and her dwindling time in middle school, but being only six hours away from her by car (and one hour by plane) is way better than the two flights or twenty hour drive it took from the northeast. We pretty much get to see each other in person now whenever we want, and it's kinda fun making random trips in the middle of the week to help with homework or just relax with my little one.

Third time's a charm?

This new chapter in life doesn't mean my long-term goals have changed just yet. I am still one stubborn individual, and I submitted my ERAS application for yet another go-round of the residency match cycle. Having to re-apply sucks, but the bright side is I didn't have to struggle to pay for my applications this cycle, and no matter the outcome, I know I will have a job this time next year. In the past, I've been pretty quiet about the process, but this time around I will share more about it on the blog to help out my medical student readers. I'll also write a post detailing urgent care life since people close to me have asked a lot of questions about it. As for now, I'm going to use the next few days I have off to relax, and I hope everyone reading this has an amazing weekend!